It’s never simple

Went to bed feeling a shade melancholy last night. If I were bipolar, I’d say I was cycling, rapidly — up one minute, depressed the next, and on and on. Upbeat more often than not but every now and then, it’s like this heavy cloud of anxiety descends on me. The cloud used to linger longer but it seems to go away in hours now, versus weeks or months. But it happens more often as a result.  Woke up tired and full of dream cobwebs but not down.

Had strange dreams. Not unusual when my head is filled to bursting with strange thoughts. Dreamed of some of those many regrets I’ve had. I can picture them as if they were yesterday, all bright colours and sharp angles. I feel a keen regret at missing those opportunities. I don’t want to add more regrets to these ones.

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