Bad hair (day)

Almost the four-week mark and I’m incredibly unhappy with my hair colour. My white hair is very fine, finer than my regular hair (and that’s pretty fine). When the hair is white, you don’t notice so much how fine it is ‘cos I have a pretty pale head as well (sun and I do not mix often). With the hair coloured, well, my scalp is much more noticeable. When the hair is dry and styled, it gains volume and so you don’t notice the fineness. When it’s wet, though, well, the hair plug effect is getting worse and starting to become an issue even on dry hair. The more the white hair grows in, the worse that effect gets because the white hair and white scalp blend together to make it look like so much more scalp than is actually visible. I wasn’t a happy camper this morning when I realized this. I was going to try using the temporary hair colour thing but I can’t just use it as the front as I’d hoped. This thinning/hair plug effect is all over and I think the only solution is to colour my hair completely, rather than trying to fix it every day with the temporary colour. I can’t afford to get it done professionally at the moment, nor can I afford to have my hair professionally coloured every 2 or 3 weeks on a regular basis. So, it appears I’m going to have to give home colouring another go. My hairdresser won’t be happy but I just can’t wait another 4 weeks to consult her when I next get my hair cut. Hopefully it won’t turn out green. 😉


Playing catch-up

The white roots started getting noticeable at about the two-week mark. I can’t afford to get my hair professionally coloured every couple of weeks, even just for a root touch up. It’s all still more expensive than doing it yourself. And 6 weeks of using the temporary stuff will drive me insane. Haven’t tried it yet — am a little afraid to. Will it start running down my face if my hair gets wet or if I overheat? That would be worse than white roots.

My white hair is finer than the rest of my hair. I wouldn’t have thought that was possible, given how fine my hair is naturally. Problem is that, because most of the white is at the front of my face, when my hair is wet and with the darker hair colour, it looks like I have hair plugs. Kind of funny and yet troublesome at the same time.

The heavy period only lasted for about 1.5 days. Bad enough but not nearly what it used to be. And I’m better at dealing with it now than I used to be. Still, the lack of sleep is hard. As annoying and gross as the period is, it doesn’t really last all that long — about 5 days or so — and I feel more in tune with myself without the progesterone or the Pill. I can feel the rhythm of my body’s cycles and I kind of like that. Feels more normal, somehow. I forget it sometimes in the face of the hemorraging but I shouldn’t.

I’m paying the price for my eBay activities earlier this month. Zero money left in the bank and payday isn’t until Wednesday. So, no cabs, ate the last of my chocolate today, and I’ll have to start actually bringing lunches. Nothing too bad (I have food at home and a bus pass) but, wow, I feel like a drug addict who’s run out of money and has no stash left. I really only have “real” food at home: frozen veggies, fruit, brown rice, chicken, fish, low fat cheese (thank god I still have cheese left!!), cereal, milk. Stuff I should be making a habit of eating but haven’t been. So, as much as I’m jonesing already for the stuff I don’t have, it’ll be good to not be in a position to get my hands on that stuff, since it’s all stuff I shouldn’t be eating. Maybe I’ll actually start eating regularly.

Added: Oh yeah, so much for the growing of finger nails. I had a stressful encounter at work last week and bit every last one of them off. So, we start again.

Today’s horoscope

From J.C.:

According to the experts, we do not move through time. Time (or at least the perception of time) moves through us. We stand still. Even our transition from one realm to another, from the physical to the ethereal, is ultimately only an illusion. Of course, you’ve got to be pretty high up to see it all that way. And I’m not suggesting that this weekend’s events will elevate your consciousness to such an extent. Still, though, they will open your eyes to the truth behind some other deceptive appearances.

J.C.’s monthly forecast for January:

I have yet to meet anyone who enjoys being woken by an alarm clock. It is a necessary evil that we all must endure. At first, we do our best to ignore the call. We fight for the right to lapse back into glorious unconsciousness. We resent the waking world that we are being urged to return to. Gradually, slowly – usually after a shower and a hot drink, we come to feel OK about the day. This month, you are going through a similar process of awakening. It may seem strange or undesirable now, but as Venus passes further through the tenth house of your solar chart, you’ll find yourself feeling ever more grateful for and excited by the awakening.

Today’s horoscope

From J.C.:

One step at a time. One day at a time. This is the advice they always give us. Time, though, is not necessarily linear. It may not even be circular. Some people argue that all moments of time exist simultaneously. I offer youthis perspective in the hope that it will help you relax about a matter that has been lately preoccupying you greatly. You want something to happen as soon as possible. It can and will happen, though as soon as possible. However, that may not be quite as soon as you would like.

The joys of perimenopause

My current period started only 3 weeks after the last one. I’m not impressed. I liked it better when they were coming every 3 months or so. Every 3 weeks, especially given how heavy they are, is not making me a happy camper.

Still alternating between insomnia and sleeping too much, though I don’t get to sleep much when I’m bleeding a lot. Went to sleep at about 7pm last night and didn’t get up for good until about 6am. Sounds good except that I was up every hour or so to change.

Today’s horoscope

From JC:

Motorways seem very straight when you trace them on a map. When you view them from the air, though, you can see that they bend almost as much as a river. Only the ancient Romans ever managed to build roads that never deviated. You are not an ancient Roman and your road through life, which is an inner path, must be allowed to wander a little. Don’t question the convoluted approach that you now seem to be taking towards an important destination. You are doing the right thing in the right way – at the right pace.

Hrm. Interesting.

Fecking hormones

Still suffering from insomnia and sleepyness, alternatively. Tonight I think it’s insomnia. My brain is firing on all cylinders tonight. The street lights are bothering me at night lately, I don’t know why. I never used to have a problem with the room not being pitch black, and I can sleep easily in daylight. But a not-quite-dark room robs me of sleep. I’ve taken to sleeping in my hoodie, with the hood pulled down over my eyes, which is a ridiculous way to sleep.

The crying jags returned last week. Thought they were going to drive me nuts but they only lasted a day or two.  All part of the joy that is my new PMS.

Still haven’t had chips or pop but my chocolate consumption has grown out of all proportions. It’s insane. I’m going to give myself diabetes at this rate, if I haven’t already.

Today’s horoscope

From Jonathan Cainer:

Creativity is a wonderful thing. It enables us to turn the mundane into the magical. It opens a new window on the world through which the fresh air of new hope can come wafting into our hearts. Often, we associate creativity with art, literature, music or design but, actually, this precious force pervades every aspect of existence and can bring its influence to bear on every part of our world. You may have only one small, good idea today but it will change everything for the better.

Nip it in the bud

Had a nap yesterday after getting really dizzy, and had disturbing dreams that woke me up heartbroken and crying. But I don’t really remember more than the odd flash of images from them. What I remember shouldn’t have been so devastating so I wonder at what I don’t remember.

Wasn’t able to sleep after that. Sunday insomnia. Toyed with the idea of not sleeping at all last night but gave in at around 3:30am. Had a very fitful hour or so of sleep before getting up again to get ready for work. Was tired, hungry (in an “I’m going to puke” way), and crotchety all morning. Had lunch and am still feeling less than perky. Can feel last month’s mood cycling starting to build up again: anger and despair duking it out. Fecking hormones! Need to nip that before it gets a foothold.

Hair is too clean today — fluffy, poofy instead of spikey. Not a bad hair day but not a good hair day either.  Blarg.