see saw

She’s up. She’s down. She’s up. She’s….

Trying really, really hard to be positive but I’m beginning to flag. It’s weird to be laid off with someone you consider a friend. There’s a competitiveness to the job hunt that doesn’t always mesh well with friendship. On the one hand, you’re happy when they get a job interview. On the other, you’re wondering why you didn’t, especially if they proceed further along in a process that you introduced them to. It’s terribly petty and I’m not proud of the feelings, but it is what it is.

The ball of anxiety is now sitting in my solar plexus. It’s no longer sitting on my chest any more than it usually does. Two weeks from today is my last day. I did some readings over the last week or so and they all point to success and new beginnings in the near future. I felt good about that until this morning. Talking to my colleague today has made me doubt, something I didn’t want to do. You know the old adage about being careful what you ask for? I’m reminded how true it is on a regular basis and yet I still have an insatiable curiousity about things I probably shouldn’t.


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