Drowning in chaos

Chaos can be exciting. It’s where inspiration (for me, anyway) tends to come from.

But, my god, I’m surrounded by way too much of it right now, almost all of it my own doing. I have an idea of things I want/need to do and each ultimately, circuitously leads back to decluttering and organizing my life more because I have the attention span of a magpie (ooh, what’s that shiny…?) while sitting in the middle of this disorganization. It is so overwhelming.

I’m listening to Wayne Dyer and Sonia Choquette podcasts, thinking of things I could and should be doing to advance my goals in life and realizing that I’m completely bogged down in the chaos. I don’t have time this weekend to tame chaos — I have a major project due on Sunday evening that is only about 33% done, a work assignment to have done by Monday and another to have done by Tuesday, a French class for which I need to complete an entire term’s assignments and oral exams in the next three weeks, a newsletter that is about 6 months overdue to get out within the next week, e-mails up the wazoo to return (some of which require extensive research and thought), and a dozen partially finished projects to finish — and that doesn’t include the whole “looking for a job” thing.

I think I need to take a half an hour or so tomorrow to just go outside and breathe some fresh air. I haven’t been outside in over a week and I think my brain is fermenting.

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