Internal clock messed up

Came across a local job posting for a newsletter editor. It pays a lot less than the government, though more than a call centre, but what’s more important is that it looks really interesting, both because I really like working on newsletters and because I like the topic of the newsletter this job would be handling. You have to submit two published articles with the resume and that got me thinking about my portfolio again and that got me looking at the half-finished and half-baked projects I’ve got on the go — and, well, that led to where I am right now. Still awake at 6am, having not gone to bed last night.

Not unusual for the last week or so — somehow or another, I’ve managed to completely screw up my internal clock.

I’m sleeping during the day, wide awake at night. Even if I stay awake through the day to sleep at night, I still don’t sleep through the night. And then I’m almost delirious the next day. And I keep forgetting to eat — which is pretty easy to do because I’ve felt nauseous for much of the last week. Perhaps something wrong digestion-wise. I don’t know. It’s not something I ate, unless it’s everything I eat, because it happens regardless of whether I’ve eaten or not, and regardless of what I’ve eaten. It’s not anxiety, at least not any more or less than I’ve had for months. It’s not low blood sugar. It’s spitty-mouth, think I’m going to throw up nausea. I got that a few times while I was working for the government. It would last for weeks and then go away. It feels familiar from even before that but I don’t know why — just a niggling little sense of deja vu that isn’t related to the incidents while with the government. (Maybe because it feels like when I’m essentially overdosing on Advil.) Wish I’d logged it then, though — maybe I could figure out what the triggers are.

(By the way, don’t ever use Wrong Diagnosis‘s multi symptom checker without a huge grain of salt — the first search result for the symptoms I input was abdominal cancer (they sort alphabetically).  Oooh, heroin withdrawal is in there, too. *snort* Of course, that’s the problem. I should never have stopped shooting smack.  LOL I shudder to think how that tool would enable a hypochondriac.)

Along with all of this, I have been both studiously avoiding many of the things high on my “to do” list and frantically tackling things that really should be nearer to the bottom of the list, including creating a new site that I’ve been designing in my head for months. Is it a priority? No. Is it the only thing in my head this weekend? Yes, for some reason. Well, that and losing terribly at Scrabulous on Facebook. (I *suck* at Scrabble.) On the plus side, I’ve gotten about 10% of the new site done — think I’m going to use just WordPress (combo of pages, posts, and plugins) for all of the content, instead of having the blog be just a part of it. That makes it both easier and harder. I also got a second wind with one of the newsletters I work on — didn’t quite get it finished but it’s about 50% done. (It was about 10% done when I started.) Problem is that have to write some of the pending content myself and that’s where I’m hitting a wall. So, I’ve put it aside for a day or two to percolate.

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One thought on “Internal clock messed up

  1. Just an addendum — what’s really funny (in hindsight) about the newsletter editor position is that they had indicated that hardly anyone would be eliminated in the early stages. What they didn’t say was that they’d posted a new job opening for the same job a few days later with markedly different requirements and no indication that pretty anyone was welcome to apply. SO, I’m guessing that they got an influx of what they deemed inappropriate applications and decided to rewrite the posting.

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