Helping yourself

When I first got the lay off notice in February, I’d just ordered some tumbled crystals from a place in the US. The shipment included a really nicely shaped, large piece of citrine. Fit perfectly in my hand and could be held in such a way that you could use it like a worry stone. I put a piece of citrine in my wallet and kept the large piece of citrine with me all the time. The beauty of citrine is that, among other things, it helps get rid of negative energy and attract abundance, both things I was — and am — in desperate need of. It definitely seemed to be doing it’s job. Unfortunately, I misplaced that large piece of citrine several weeks ago. And I’ve forgotten about the other stones for months.

And for weeks I’ve been struggling — and frequently failing — to maintain a positive, productive attitude. It’s kind of like when you’re depressed and you just can’t pull enough of yourself together to get yourself out of it. Kind of a Catch-22. When I got the notice last week about this job opening, I figured I needed to do something.

A few months ago, when I was actively carrying the citrine and other stones, I was also experimenting with a water crystal card deck. It’s a deck of cards showing images of water crystals formed after exposure to various words on one side and the words themselves on the other. I’d decided to try out the Prosperity card. Again, at the time, positivity and abundance was evident in my life. Who knows how much the card helped but I’m sure it didn’t hurt. Anyway, a couple of days ago, when I couldn’t find the citrine stone, I decided to at least start sitting my ever-present bottle of water on the Prosperity water crystal card. I also started to wear my citrine and hematite — another stone that helps combat negativity — rings and it all seems coincide with a certain abundance in the Universe. Did the stones and the card help to attract the abundance and positivity? Or is my use of the stones and the card simply a reflection of a changed state of mind that was already present? I’m not sure it matters. If I’m in a more positive frame of mind when I am carrying or using the items, the result is more important than the means. A placebo isn’t less powerful for being a trick of the mind.

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Lucky number 13

FInished a customized version of my portfolio yesterday and then proceeded to spend hours being trounced at Scrabulous on Facebook. I hate playing Scrabble, but I’m actually beginning to like playing Scrabulous — it’s nice to be able to take days to play without worrying that the dog will knock over the board. Started two new games and the Gods seem to have decided to cut me a little slack because both are going quite well for me. That doesn’t preclude the possibility of getting trounced at the finish line but it’s a nice change from being trounced throughout the entire game.

Had trouble sleeping, thinking of things I could/should change in the portfolio and wondering what questions I’d be asked in the interview. Finally got up around 5 a.m. and fiddled with the portfolio, played some more Scrabulous, avoided doing other things by playing Freecell, and finally got ready for the interview.

Bad day to choose to wear black. My home was cool and dry today, which fooled me into thinking it was the same way outside. Surprise on me to find myself getting rained on while walking to the bus. The rain had stopped by the time I got there but the air was so heavy with humidity that rain would have been preferable. I initially went to the wrong side of the very large building and had to walk around (the long way, apparently). I was absolutely drenched — and winded — by the time I got there. The security guard gave me visitor’s badge #13. “Lucky number 13,” he says. “Or unlucky number 13,” says his coworker. Nope, definitely lucky. I need all the luck I can get.

The interview went really well. Really enjoyed myself. Both interviewers were really nice. I was comfortable. Might have gushed a little bit, might have talked a little too much, but otherwise I think I did a decent job of it. They’re going to probably take until middle of next week to make their decision. That works out better for me than it starting on Monday would have as it wouldn’t mess up my next EI cheque, which is my rent cheque. So, I’m keeping good vibes and positive thoughts going. Here’s hoping.

Splurged on Subway on the way home. Haven’t had it in a couple of months, and it made me ill. Physically ill. What does that say about the food, eh? Think I’ll pass on it in the future. What I really have an addiction to right now is tinned salmon. Skinless, boneless Pacific Pink salmon. Salmon salad sandwiches and some pineapple with ginger ale and all is right with the world. Don’t have any of that so I’ll have to do a grocery run tomorrow if I want it.