The Me Project: Day…what day is it again?

Just kidding. It’s day 13.

I know. I’ve missed a few days. The last week has been what can only be described as “blah”. Did nothing. Thought about nothing of any import (as you can tell from my posts here LOL). Started new Me Project posts each day, but realized I had nothing to say about things. Battled a fruit fly plague. (Isn’t that one of the signs of the Apocalypse?) Watched a hella lot of TV. Ate too much junk food. (Still haven’t cleaned my fridge.) Went offroad in my head. But I’m veering back onto the track now.

My scale tells me that I lost 2 pounds, but it’s a pathological liar and I don’t believe it. And I’m ignoring the siren call of my nails. (“You know you wanna.”)

Applied for a very short-term freelance job. Looked kind of interesting for a couple of days work, but who knows. Started properly looking at job postings. I need to get out of the house — I’m going stir crazy. Saw a contract for an HTML Converter. It pays less than my usual rate, but it might be nice, mild work for awhile. So I’m waffling over whether or not to apply for it. (It doesn’t say how long the contract is.)

Had snooze-button-fueled dreams last night, including one about finding dead and nearly dead kittens (with their dead mother) on my balcony where they’d gotten trapped. (A stray cat couldn’t possibly find it’s way onto my real balcony, but I’m finding myself compelled to check it now in spite of that.) The horror of that dream hasn’t quite faded, and I can still feel the weight and soft fur of one short-haired, black kitten who was still alive.

Musique de la semaine:

Lots of TV. Variety of music, including the ever-present Tokio Hotel (especially now that I have all three albums, thanks to eBay) and my new best friend, Schnuffel. This post, though, is brought to you by John Barrowman’s “What About Us” on repeat.

That’s probably most of my problem. I have trouble accomplishing things with a variety of songs playing because I have to sing to pretty much everything — it’s almost a compulsion. (I know you’re surprised that I would have compulsion problems.) And I’m drawn to the TV if it’s on, even if it’s complete crap.

This is why I listen to the same things over and over when I’m trying to concentrate on something. The first few (or many, depending on the song) times I hear it, I sing it (and sometimes dance to it). Then it reaches the point of being hypnotic white noise that keeps the bored child in my head occupied while the rest of me can accomplish what I need to. It’s a bit like tai chi, where part of your brain is kept occupied by remembering the movements, allowing the rest of your mind to enter a kind of meditative state.

There are songs in my iTunes playlist that have been played hundreds of times, most of them concentrated on short timespans of endless autorepeat. For example, yesterday’s OCD post, which took some time to write, was written with only Katy Perry’s “Hot and Cold” playing on autorepeat.

Horoscope: A couple of very apropos forecasts from Jonathan Cainer

Friday, November 28: Necessity is the mother of invention. But who, or what, is the father? There is now a pressing need in your life. Something has to happen. You are neither being awkward nor fussy, just careful. You don’t want to let a sense of urgency cloud your judgement or inspire the acceptance of a questionable compromise. Yet how much longer can you wait? Before you, this weekend, there is an offer, an opportunity, a plausible possibility. Given all that you’re up against, why not let that be your departure point?

December forecast: None of us can turn back the clock. Why then, do we all spend so much time living in the past? We can’t return to it. We can’t even trust that our memory of it is accurate. We can’t live in the here-and-now when we bind ourselves by our ties to the there-and-then. Yet still, we somehow find it easier to look back than to cast our thoughts too far forward. Despite all that the holiday season stirs up for you, be motivated by what you can change this month, not frustrated by what you can’t. And don’t try to do anything impossible. You really don’t need to.

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