Surfing the waves of bitterness to calm waters

I’m trying really hard to keep myself in a happy place these days. It’s too easy to get mired in the quicksand and I don’t want to lose more years to it than I already have.

But there are certain topics that push all my buttons. Most people who know me in Real Life™   know what those buttons are. I can’t really vent satisfyingly about most of them here (or even on XUP’s anonymous rant page) because people will know conclusively who I am if I do that — witness protection isn’t helpful if you give yourself away at every turn.

I’m slowly divesting myself of the obligations that bring these topics front and center in my inbox on a regular basis. Unloaded one last year sometime, and got rid of another earlier this year. But it’s a lengthy process for just one duty — double it, triple it, and it grows exponentially. So in the meantime I have to force myself to just shut up and not speak my mind, which, if you knew me, you’d know is really, really, REALLY hard.

One topic involves rising costs of remaining a member of an organization that increasingly does less and less for many of its members. I have no intention of renewing my membership  (we’ve long since parted spiritual company, the organization and I, and cutting the ties is just a legal formality), but the mishandling still makes me angry. Having to watch the perky, Pollyanna evangelists patronize the disgruntled vocal few just adds an extra twist of bitter.  “Why I’ve made a million dollars extra over my career because of the organization; if you haven’t, clearly you don’t know how to be a good member.”  (It reminds me of an episode of “Trading Spouses” I watched on YouTube — related to something I’ll be posting about later — in which someone said that the people who haven’t recovered economically from Katrina just haven’t tried hard enough to get off their lazy asses.)

*sigh*

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